Previously on The Client List...
Someone just broke into my house, and they attacked Lacey.
Do you think it was Carlyle? It's possible.
Carlyle has been after the Rub clients for a while.
I'd like to raise the offer -- $200,000.
Lacey just lost her baby because of this son of a bitch.
She what? I-I didn't even know she --
Yeah, well, now you do.
This is who we're trying to find.
Why are you still trying to find him?
Riley: Sean Foster, the guy that attacked Lacey --
I'm looking at him right now.
Don't do anything stupid.
You're not going anywhere, asshole.
Aaah! Get out of the car!
When did you go from "I'm done being Riley's errand boy"
to putting both our jobs on the line for her?
You can't lie for me. It's already done.
Triangle relationship does not work.
You're dating someone new.
Kyle and I are trying to work on our marriage.
I should be going back to my motel?
I guess so. I want to come home.
I want my wedding to only be about love.
Georgia and I -- we don't have any secrets.
This place is your life.
It cost me my first husband.
♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪
♪ whoa-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, ohh ♪
♪ whoa-oh, whoa-oh ♪
♪ whoa-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, ohh ♪
So, you put out any fires lately?
A small one -- Spindle Hill. No biggie.
You can brag, you know.
You're a real, live hero.
One that just got knifed in the back by his wife.
She cheated.
Ohh. Ouch.
She swears it'll never happen again, but I can't get over it.
I know it's not fair that --
Yeah, because you come here.
Still hard to forgive.
Well...Don't wait for the anger to be gone.
Forgiveness -- that is a choice.
You know, you decide in your mind first,
and then your heart catches right on that.
You're right.
I should probably --
start with a clean slate.
Yeah. Yeah.
I always hate to lose one of my favorite clients,
but I will be real happy to see your marriage work out.
What do you say we make our last time one for the record books?
Okay, then.
[ Both chuckle ]
Uh...change of plans.
Blue light just flashed.
No problem. I know the rules.
Stick to legal body parts.
It's not nearly as fun, but I'll be back in a few minutes.
[ Groans softly ]
Hey.
Evan. Hey. What a surprise.
Oh, you two know each other?
Yeah, he's my husband's brother. I'm her brother-in-law.
Excuse me.
Listen, sorry about that whole scene at the station the other night.
No, let's just not get into it.
As long as things aren't weird between us.
No, we're good.
Doesn't feel that way, but...okay.
You know, you're out of your patrol area --
I mean, like, way out -- so [sighs] what are you --
what are you doing here in sugar land?
Yeah, it's not official police business.
I actually threw out my neck. Ohh.
I can barely move it, so I was wondering if you could fit me in.
I mean, not you, of course.
That would just be... Weird.
Is it strange giving a massage to a guy you slept with?
No.
Not at all.
I mean, it usually happens before the big event,
but...after works, too.
So, whatever happened between us, huh?
I mean, we went on, what, like three dates and...
Bad timing?
Yeah, it doesn't really matter.
I'm not really a one-man type of woman,
but you seem like a one-woman type of man.
Sounds like a country song. [ Chuckles ]
A crappy one.
All right. Oh, you are tight.
Is something going on at work?
Which, by the way, I hear you're a full-fledged cop now.
Oh, yeah. That's right.
Don't let me catch you on the wrong side of the law.
How'd you hurt yourself -- tackling a suspect?
[ Chuckles ] No.
There's this woman I'm seeing.
She's freezing me out.
I guess the tension went to my neck.
Oh, that's what I hear from all my clients.
Women are the source of all tension.
Yeah. I met her at the Academy.
No! Sorry.
You don't date the people you work with.
I mean, it's just a disaster waiting to happen.
Where else do you meet people?
I don't know. Just not on the clock.
What about you? You seeing someone?
Maybe.
Well, where'd you meet him?
You know, since when did this session become about me?
Just lay down. Hush up.
Relax.
♪ The Client List 2x12 ♪ When I Say I Do Original Air Date on June 2, 2013
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Dale: Oh, my God. Come on.
Right? Was I right?
Yeah, I mean, it's not bad for a 14-rated food truck.
14-rated?
Come on. Those lists are rigged.
I'm telling you. This place is the bomb.
Look at this.
You got pork and beef in the same sandwich.
Mm-hmm. Come on. That's good. Mmm.
Are you gonna drink that?
Y-- mmm.
I've been working out so hard. Have you?
You know, I forgot to tell you --
I had a late-night load of lumber to drop off.
That sounds so disgusting.
No, no, no -- lumber, not logs.
Guess who the delivery was for.
Who's that?
Vandermeyer Construction Company.
What? That isn't weird?
Come on. That's crazy. It's not that crazy.
It's a huge construction company.
By the way, what's going on with the case?
You still have to testify against that dude?
Yeah. Yeah. I'm just waiting for a date.
How's Riley handling the whole thing?
I asked her if I could move back in the house.
You want my advice? No.
You got to stop pushing her.
Did you hear me say "no"?
You need to be the wind in the willow, my friend.
The book -- from elementary school?
No, not the book. Forget about the book.
What are you talking about? See this?
You got to be the willow in the wind, okay?
Okay.
Wind goes left, you go left, right?
Wind goes right...
I go right. Hey, now you're getting it.
The trick is to bend -- all right? -- And not break.
This is serious. Okay.
You -- you have to just let Riley
ask the willow to come back.
So, the bottom line here -- don't be the oak.
Don't be the oak.
Be the willow.
Are you gonna eat that?
Got it.
Don't...like you. So, there we go.
Oh, hey.
I need to give a final head count to the caterer,
so you bringing a plus-one to Georgia's wedding?
Uh, no, it's just me.
I didn't get a plus-one, anyway.
Everyone got a plus-one,
and I know that because I made all the invitations.
Oh.
Well, the answer's still no.
Selena, you could ask that cute banker guy
that was hitting on you at the gym.
Didn't you have a drink with him?
He talked about his shih tzu all night.
Aww. Well, ask him anyway.
Going to a wedding alone is so depressing.
You know, I don't know why everyone feels so sorry
for the girl without a date.
It's not so bad.
I mean, you get to come and go as you please,
and those dance floors -- they're a happy hunting ground.
I wouldn't know. I'm taking my husband.
I keep forgetting that you're married.
Right?
Must be hard to have a husband
and do this job at the same time.
How does that work?
[ Telephone rings ] Oh, Harold's calling.
Yay. Hi. Wait, what?
Okay. Well, don't worry about a thing. I'm on my way.
Sorry.
Maid of honor to the rescue.
[ Chuckles ]
Don't touch that.
Hey. Ohh.
I got here as soon as I could. How bad is it? Oh, God.
She is reorganizing the liquor.
Yeah, for the second time.
That's why I called you.
Good luck. Okay.
And thanks. You got it.
Hey, there, lady. What is...going on?
The cake. Yeah --
looks perfect for a 6-year-old.
My wedding is ruined. Georgia, that is not true.
Now, it says, "Happy Birthday, Lilly Marie."
That means that Lilly Marie has to have your cake,
and so I'm gonna go get it back.
It's a bad omen, Riley.
Georgia, there is nothing to worry about.
Nothing to worry about?
I have a list a week long and only two days to do it.
Like the flowers -- you have to remember to pluck
the petals off the rose
but not a moment -- Moment too soon,
because they will wilt and shrivel up, and I got that.
Oh, I almost forgot.
Harold's sourpuss cousins from Atlanta --
they're not coming,
so that's two prime rib and one fish dinner off --
Off the head count. Got that, too.
Can you help me with the wedding-favor situation?
They close at 5:00. There's no way I can get there.
Georgia, I got it. It's gonna be taken care of.
I don't mean to be such a fuss,
but this wedding has just got to be perfect.
And it will be.
This is my chance, you know, at a fresh start.
I'm finally getting everything right.
Oh, let me move that seating chart. Oh, thank you.
It is a wonder that modern man
ever learned how to sit without one.
Hey, did you actually learn calligraphy?
No. The computer learned it for me,
but it took me two hours to get the damn program to work.
Well, please tell Georgia thank you
for giving you the night off from maid-of-honoring.
Yeah, it's nice. Karina's got the kids.
Mama's not here. It's sort of quiet.
How is Linette doing? Uh, happier, I think.
She's got a thing for one of the orderlies,
so that's a good sign, and Kyle seems to be helping.
How is it having him back in the fold?
Good. Weird.
Sometimes it feels like Christmas.
That's great, right?
Yeah. Um...
He wants to move back in.
Wow. That's a big step.
Um, has he even slept over yet?
Just once, on the couch, you know,
but my job complicates things.
Yeah, 'cause you can't tell him, obviously.
Yeah, and running right back into our marriage
and then having to lie to him every day --
I don't know that I can do that.
Well, the big guy said, "thou shalt not lie."
He never said, "thou shalt not keep secrets."
I appreciate you wanting to split hairs for me,
but I don't know.
I just feel like I'm not giving us a fresh start by hiding something.
Well, you're just doing what you have to do for your kids.
Can we just talk about you instead?
Yes, but no baby talk.
Dale thinks I'm depressed,
and I'm not allowed to use the "B" word.
I'm under strict orders to have fun!
Dale: Hey, hey! Hey! Hey!
What's up? You know what time it is?
What time is it?
It is 10 minutes past party time.
We have some catching up to do.
See what I mean? I'm married to a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader.
[ Laughter ]All right. We got lemons. We got limes.
We got triple sec and white wine, oh, and rioja!
Sparkling water for me. Good call.
Where is that pitcher that Katie painted?
Oh, same old place.
You know what goes really well with sangria?
What? A little...
[ Salsa music plays ] ...Salsa!
[ Trills tongue ]
Yeah! Whoo! [ Speaks Spanish ]
Oh. Oh, look -- she's reeling me in.
Oh, look at this. Oh ho ho ho ho ho!
Here we go! We are having some fun!
Bam, bam. Come on!
Kyle: This is for Linette's rehab?
Riley, $7,500?
How are you gonna pay for all this?
Oh, you know that guy in the circus who spins all the plates?
Lacey: Oh, can we please eat? Dale: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Riley: You guys, put that bread on the table,
and I hope you guys are hungry,
because I went a little bit Martha Stewart on this chicken.
Sounds good. Oh, awesome. I'm so hungry.
I don't think there's ever been a time
when I haven't been hungry. Yes, I said that.
Lacey: Too much. What's wrong?
This looks so good.
Hey, I've been calling you.
And texting and e-mailing. I know.
Shelby.
Parks! Trimble!
[ Telephone rings ]
Heard you did good under pressure, Parks, with Foster.
Thank you, sir.
So, you two rookies ready for a little undercover work?
By all means. Born ready.
'Cause you two are especially qualified for this operation.
Now, you're not to utter a word about this
to anybody outside these walls. You understand?
This part of your life is top-secret.
Of course, sir.
What's the assignment, lieutenant --
gangs, narcotics, auto theft?
Prostitution -- massage parlor.
You two pretty boys are bait.
Kyle: All right, I know we got a wedding in a few days.
That's generally where all the toasts happen.
But I wanted to get started a little early.
Nice. I like that. Toasts are fun.
I forbid you from using that word for the rest of the night --
not one more time. [ Laughter ]
I've never known a classier bunch.
Most of us.
Hey.
Certainly don't know a more forgiving one.
Without getting into it, I know that I have hurt all of you,
which is only more of a testament to your character
that you've welcomed me back into your hearts
and hopefully back into this home.
Whoa, dude. Willow. Come on.
Anyway, so, thank you, guys, for being awesome.
Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.
To being awesome.
Cheers. We are that.
All right!
You gonna eat that? Do you want it?
No, no, no. I just want to watch you eat it.
That was nice.
Lacey: Ohh. [ Laughs ]
Oh, I forgot to tell you --
I have an interview at Beaumont Building Supply tomorrow.
Oh, that's great! Yeah.
I don't know. It might be a long shot,
but we'll see.
Somehow, I'm gonna figure out a way
to take some of this pressure off of you.
I know you will.
It was a lot of fun tonight --
the four of us having dinner here again together.
[ Chuckles ] Yes, it really was.
It's getting late.
I should go.
Oh, okay.
Good night.
Hey, uh, what was the whole Dale willow thing?
[ Chuckles ] I don't know.
That's just Dale being Dale.
[]Uh-huh. For tomorrow?
Yeah, a wedding cake.
Look, we'll pay a rush fee.
Right. Right. Yeah.
Thanks for checking. Shoot!
Every damn bakery in Amarillo said no.
We're gonna have to buy a pound cake from Shop 'n Save.
Well, we're not giving up. Oh, wait!
Wait, here's one -- Beyond This World Bakery, in Port Arthur.
What ever happened to getting Georgia's cake back?
The little girls ate it. Now give me your phone.
Come on. Georgia's counting on us.
Here. Okay.
[ Clears throat ]
Oh, yes, hi.
Um, the thing is,
I'm having an emergency with my wedding cake.
I-I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow.
[ Sobbing ] At least I think I am.
Oh, please. Thank you.
[ Normal voice ] They have one. It's premade.
Take it. Okay.
Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!
I'll come and pick it up.
Oh, wow.
I thought I was the expert at faking it. Right?
Yeah!
I'm going to lunch. You ladies need anything?
Oh, actually, could you help Selena
get a date to the wedding?
Don't start. Ow!
I love weddings. I'll go.
What? Romance, free booze, single chicks --
it's like spearfishing in the tide pools.
See? I told you -- happy hunting grounds.
Okay. So, let him take you. He can help you hunt.
You're just afraid you won't be able to resist me.
You want to try me?
Saturday? 4:00.
I'll pick you up. Fine.
Parks. So, tomorrow, just so you know,
I'm gonna be the guy who nails those hookers.
What you do on your own time
is really none of my business, Trimble.
I'm talking about the sting, moron.
Don't feel bad that I'll be the one who makes the takedown.
Everything you say sounds dirty.
Remember? I'm the guy who won the marksmanship award.
Which would be important if we were shooting people.
But if we were shooting people, I would win.
Your parents must be so proud.
Why? Have you spoken to them?
Don't just stand there.
Say something, Lacey Jean.
Oh, and interrupt the Buddha?
Are you kidding me? Come here.
Hey. Ohh.
I missed you. You are looking so much better.
Oh, thank you.
I made it through to the other side of my rough patch.
I'm real proud of you.
And I'm real proud of this.
30 days.
[ Gasps ] Oh, my God. Congratulations.
That's great. I know it couldn't have been easy.
I remember seeing my mama go through this back in the day,
and she wasn't able to beat it, but I know that you will.
Oh, sweetheart. [ Sniffles ] Thanks.
Shelby won't talk to me.
She won't even let me get a full sentence out.
Well, there's your first mistake -- full sentences.
You're not a full-sentence guy, dude.
You're a sound-bite man.
You got to relax. Dude, I'm serious.
If she would just hear me out, I could change her mind.
I know it. Women are tricky creatures, man.
Sometimes it takes a bold maneuver.
Are you gonna drink that?
Bold maneuver? This ought to be good.
Yeah. Sometimes you got to pull out all the stops.
I mean, this shit sounds like
you got to write "I'm sorry" with a skywriter,
or you can get a graffiti artist.
I know this guy. He's not that nice --
Okay, what happened to your do-nothing approach?
Okay. You want to do it on the cheap?
You can do that, too. You got to buy her a puppy.
You got to write a sonnet and attach it to the collar.
I am so screwed. You know what?
I'm doing a bold maneuver of my own for Lacey --
helping her get her groove back.
What, are you gonna write "I love you" in chips and guacamole?
You see me through such a narrow lens.
No. What I'm about to do is so unbelievably romantic.
If there's one thing that this bear knows how to do,
it's sweep his wife off her feet.
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh ♪
Dale: Just stay relaxed. Balance.
Balance is the key, right?
And watch that ball.
Ohh! Watch that ball.
That was a nice hit, honey.
Okay? Turn on it. It's all about the hips.
You're squashing the bug.
Oh, my God. There's a bug? Where's the bug?
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm -- I'm pretending to squash the bug, right?
And you just turn in on it. Turn on.
Turn on it! Hey, smile up there!
You're having fun! Smile up there! [ Chuckles ]
Hey, batter, batter, batter! Now swing!
Aah! Hey, you got to warn me!
I'm telling you! That's what I just said!
Okay, you got to concentrate.
I was letting you know. Come on. Here we go.
Now! I mean, is it just gonna keep doing this?
Well, it's called the pitching machine.
Yes, I hope so. Okay, right.
But let's be honest.
I mean, is this to cheer up you or me?
A little bit of both.
Concentrate. Come on. You can do this.
Ohh! Aah! Oh, my God!
Did you see that?!
Yes.
I just hit it so far!
I saw that. That was awesome.
You did great.
You're back! I'm back.
Okay, get in that box.
Here we go now. Yes! Yeah!
♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh ♪
You came back.
What happened to a clean slate?
Right after I saw you...
I was all set to tell her that I forgave her,
I'm ready to move on, and she's gone --
cleaned out her closet.
Oh, Adam.
I save people's lives for a living.
I can't save a marriage?
[ Sighs ] When I came here today,
I thought this would make me feel better, but...
Hey, it's okay. You don't have to.
Guess I was a day late and a dollar short.
[ Sighs ]
Hey, can you get my room ready for 4:00?
Thanks.
Hey, babe.
Kyle.
[]So, the interview went really well, and I-I saw these.
I wanted to tell you about it.
Well, that's great. They asked me if I could start Monday.
You are perfect for that job.
Yeah. I mean, he still has to run it up the flagpole,
but he seemed really positive about it.
And just think -- once I have a regular paycheck coming in,
you know, you can relax a little bit, spend more time with the kids.
Who knows? One day, be able to quit working altogether.
Yeah. Kyle...
Michelle: Oh, hey, boss...
I'm gonna get us some detergent.
Thanks, Michelle.
Did she just call you "boss"?
Uh, yeah. [ Chuckles ]
Um...That is something I wanted to talk to you about.
See, the cutting back on hours and quitting thing
is gonna be real tough because, um...
I'm pretty close to owning the place.
Owning? Wow. Really? Well, I did it for our family.
No, of course. I get it. I'm impressed.
Really?
Yeah. I mean, I don't know why you felt like
you couldn't tell me any of this sooner.
Congratulations.
I mean, that's great. I'm really proud of you.
Thank you. That -- that means a lot.
Thank you for coming over on a Sunday
to work your magic on me.
Of course -- anything for your big day.
Harold's family -- they're coming in by the dozens.
This is very nice to get away from the craziness.
Ooh, is this your first time meeting them? That's exciting.
More like nerve-wracking, if you ask me.
Oh, they are gonna love you.
Yeah, but what if I don't love them?
You know, it goes both ways.
[ Both laugh ] That's true.
I mean, you're not just marrying Harold.
You're marrying his whole family.
Um...I don't mean to pry into your private business --
but you're going to anyway.
Well, you had any luck, you know, summoning the stork?
Not yet.
But Dale's insisting that we just take a break and relax.
Of course, his idea of relaxing
is taking me to the batting cages.
Batting cages?
Oh, yeah. Just you wait.
You know, marriage is one big slog into compromise.
Ohh!
But it's a wonderful compromise.
I mean, I wouldn't give up those batting cages for the world.
Ohh! [ Chuckles ]
Wow, you are a beautiful bride.
Ohh. Come on. Cheers.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Giggles ]
I'm glad you're in better spirits.
First lesson of fire training is to get back on your ladder.
Yeah. So, you're testing the waters? Mmm.
You know that whole women-loving-firefighters thing?
Oh, that's not just a myth? Nope.
It's the number-one female fantasy.
Well, I am here to confirm.
You know, speaking of fantasies,
today, it is all about yours.
[ Breathes deeply ]
♪ You better watch out, 'cause here I come ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
My neck feels pretty loose. Not to me.
You can move on.
I came here for something special.
Mm. Sure.
Hot stones will be good.
Look...
It's not my neck that's stiff.
I think I can help with that.
Yeah?
Ohh!
[ Laughter ] Ouch.
He's gonna be really mad tomorrow. You perv!
Do you realize you just hit a police officer?
My mother brought me up to be a lady.
In that outfit?!
Of course I wear this.
It gets me bigger tips.
Is his nose bleeding?
I think you broke my nose.
You're lucky that's all I broke.
Whoa, whoa. Uh...W-where are my clothes?
Well, that's one down.
[ Russian accent ] So, Nate, what do you do -- for work?
I'm in construction. I'm a site manager.
Climb a lot of scaffolding, so my calves get pretty tight.
Ah. I see that.
I've been working like crazy,
trying to keep my mind off of my ex.
We work together,
so she thinks that makes things complicated.
Female construction worker?
Must be tough girl.
Oh, she's an architect.
Much smarter than me.
Prettier, too.
You find new girl.
Well, see, that's the thing -- I only want her.
I mean, she's adorable, sweet, funny, down to earth.
Why not tell her you think this?
I am.
Doing my best.
Anya make you feel better.
Nate feel very good.
What do you have in mind?
Didn't know Parks was such a Romeo.
I take it you're Juliet?
Yes. There it is. We got her.
Beaumont police. Son of a bitch.
You are under arrest.
Sorry excuse for a man.
You can't keep your girlfriend happy.
How can that be?
Please tell me you're on Pinterest,
looking up flowers that arrange themselves.
No. I'm sorry. Mama's rehab bill is due today.
That is so weird.
Is everything okay?
It's saying that it was paid.
A mistake actually went in my direction.
I mean, I'm sure it'll come back and bite me in the ass, but --
Don't question a good thing.
Now come on. Get back over here
and help me finish these last few arrangements.
I-I don't even remember paying it.
It's like my brain is in a million different places.
Well, when Georgia's wedding's over,
you'll have more brain space.
I mean, you've been killing yourself.
Speaking of which, uh, Kyle...
came to the Rub last night.
Oh, no, he didn't.
Oh, yes, he did.
And he said that if he gets this job, I should quit mine.
Oh, no, he didn't. Mm-hmm.
Well, one way to stop your two worlds from colliding
is to get rid of one.
Yeah, except that world feeds my kids.
Yeah, but if Kyle moves back home...
He'll be living with a lying whore.
Oh, no, you did not.
Oh, yes, I just did.
[ Door opens ]
Hey! Kyle: Hey, there.
Oh! Don't you look handsome?
Thank you. You do, too.
[ Chuckles ] All right.
I'm gonna start taking this out to the car. Okay.
You know what?
I need your help with the cake. Let's go.
[ Sighs ]
Wow. What is this -- an intergalactic wedding?
You know what? It's a long story.
Now just help me get this to the car.
[ Strained ] Okay. Oh, my gosh.
Whoa! [ Laughs ] Sorry.
All right. So, I was wondering --
did you not tell me about taking over the Rub
because I'm having a hard time finding a job?
Because you know you don't have to protect me.
You know what? I'm sorry, okay?
I should have told you. I just made a mistake.
Will you be careful, please? No. I'm just saying,
you know, if, you know, we're gonna move forward,
we have to start being honest with each other.
What we need to do is slow down.
I thought we were trying to take the next step.
We're just going too fast.
But trust is a two-way st-- I am talking about the cake.
[ Cellphone rings ] Oh.
Oh, wait.
Are you kidding me? It might be the job.
[ Grunts ]
Hello? [ Sighs ]
Yes.
Oh, I see.
Thank you.
[ Cellphone beeps ]
They did a background check.
I didn't get the job.
Oh, Kyle, I'm so sorry.
Ohh! Aaah!
Ohh.
[ Siren wailing ]
If you can't afford one,
one will be appointed to you at government expense.
Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?
Do you? Yes.
[ Police radio chatter ]
[ Chuckles ] What happened to you?
Shut up.
Really?
You won't talk to me in person.
Yeah, and after that stunt, that's not gonna change.
Congratulations on the arrest.
[]Riley: Ugh. I can't believe this.
I promised Georgia I'd help her
with her wedding cake, and I ruined it.
No, we ruined it. Okay? Accidents happen.
What matters is how we go about fixing it.
You got the eggs? Oh, yeah.
All right. So, you you one at a time,
and then you stir the butter in intermittently.
Who are you, and what have you done with Kyle?
Impressed?
Yeah, I'm a little impressed.
You know, one of the things that I remember most about my mom...
Mm-hmm?
...is she always said that boys should know how to bake.
Ooh. Well, I hope she also taught you miracles,
because Georgia's wedding is in one hour.
It's all right. We're gonna be good.
Plus, when all else fails, icing is like spackle --
it fixes everything.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Cellphone chimes ]
Okay. Georgia has locked herself in the back room,
and she won't come out.
Okay. Well, go. Go. I got this under control.
All right. I'm just gonna get ready.
You're gonna find a great job.
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
♪ I was walkin' ♪
Sweetie, hey.
Oh, thank God you're here. We've tried everything.
Yeah, yeah. I got this. ♪ it was in the shape of a heart ♪
♪ then something occurred to me ♪
♪ I think you're the one... ♪ Georgia?
♪ ...where I want to be ♪
We can still have a party.
No sense in all this good food going to waste.
Okay, what is going on?
Is this what they call getting cold feet? [ Chuckles ]
Hey, would you talk to me, please?
Honey, I don't think I ever told you
what happened with my first husband.
The Rub girl he ran off with was a legit massage therapist,
and, uh, she found out what was going on behind closed doors.
She always had her eye on Robert.
And as soon as she got some ammunition...
Okay, Georgia.
You're just afraid...
That Harold's gonna find out your secret, and I get that.
But that's why you got out.
It's just now I got all these other worries bubbling up,
and I can't --
Okay, will you just come and sit down?
Don't be difficult. Just sit.
Here.
Take another sip of this.
[ Sighs ]
Now close your eyes.
Don't make it weird. Just close 'em.
Okay. Okay.
Now picture the moment you met Harold.
[ Laughs ]
That's good. I like that smile.
Now tell me about it.
Well, the church was full.
I was late. I couldn't find a seat.
Oh, and then out of the blue [Chuckles]
This beautiful man gave me his.
His smile was like a sign from God.
Or maybe it was the devil himself trying to tempt me
into making the same mistake twice.
Georgia, will you focus, please? We've already been over this.
Keep going.
[ Sighs ] Okay.
After the service, we had burnt coffee in the courtyard.
But I'm telling you, standing next to that man -- mm --
that was the best-tasting coffee I'd ever had.
He felt the same way.
You know, you can just get caught up in all of the romance.
My first marriage, my first husband --
I thought it was true love. Thought it was for keeps.
Georgia, Harold's not your ex, okay?
You just have to trust that it's not gonna be that way this time.
Yeah, but it's normal for the honeymoon phase to fade,
and I just wonder, will Harold's love for me fade along with it?
Has it yet?
Every day we're together -- oh, I --
my love for him grows so much,
sometimes I feel like my heart's gonna burst.
[ Chuckles ] He feels the same way.
I can see it in his eyes. Ohh.
You know something?
You are damn good. [ Both laugh ]
All this wedding fuss has just driven me crazy.
Guess I lost sight of us.
Which is the only thing that matters.
Mmm.
I will marry you right here, right now,
without all the bells and whistles.
I thought you wanted bells and whistles.
No. I only want to marry you.
And you know what? I'm gonna prove it.
Let's do it right this second, right now.
Really? Yes.
Okay, you two. Just hold on.
Oh, Harold.
Mason: Excuse me, everybody.
Excuse me. We have an announcement.
We would like to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Clemens.
[ All gasp ]
We couldn't wait! We're already married!
We did it! We did it!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Let's party!
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
[ Cheers and applause continue ]
Man: Whoo-hoo!
Man #2: Okay!
How'd you get into this country?
We know you're not legal.
Let's talk about the Lucky Lotus.
What can you tell me about your boss?
You're gonna want to talk to me.
Solicitation and prostitution -- that's 14 months.
I talk, it's dangerous.
Boss knows many people -- I-important people.
Cops.
Cops?
You're saying it's one of us that's on the force?
I'm saying I can't say.
You ever seen an immigration detention center?
The nicest thing we could do is send you back to Siberia.
I mean, that's where you're from, right?
You can't send me back there, please.
Well, I-I don't see anybody coming to your rescue,
so you might want to think about helping yourself.
Greg Carlyle is who I work for.
Greg Carlyle owns the Lucky Lotus?
What more can you tell me?
What else information you want?
Lucky Lotus clients? Code to safe? I give you.
First, I want "Get Out of Prison Free" card --
and lawyer.
Let me see what I can do.
Let's go.
Evan: She's a tough cookie.
I wasn't alone, you know.
The boss heard everything.
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have --
Said all that. Exactly.
Exposing my underbelly makes me an easy target.
What choice did I have? You won't talk to me.
Come on. Shelby, can we just forget about
my stupid surveillance confession and start over?
I wish I could.
The only reason you want me is because you can't have Riley.
I don't want Riley.
You do.
That's why you had me spin the incident reports for her.
She's family, all right? We have a lot of history.
I saw your face the night of the reunion at the station.
You've been in love with her since high school.
I'm trying to move on.
I don't want to be anybody's second choice.
You shouldn't have to try.
Look, Shelby, I can't just flip a switch
and turn off the last 15 years.
But I made my choice.
And I want you.
Can't we just start over fresh, forget everything?
I don't think we should do this anymore.
You don't even want to think about it?
Our time together was...
[ Sighs ]
I can't be with you.
Just hear me out.
I got feelings for you -- strong feelings.
And had I known our last kiss was gonna be our very last,
I'd have made sure you never forgot it.
[]Hey.
Where's your guitar?
I sold it.
Why would you do that? You loved that guitar.
It's just a thing. Kyle.
Just wanted to help out.
Oh, my God.
You sold your guitar to help pay mama's rehab bill.
Well, look at you.
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
Okay. So, this song is for Georgia and Harold,
'cause they're the only two people that got married here tonight,
right? That's right.
[ Applause ]
Okay.
Happy couple that we both look up to.
Lacey Jean, get up here. I need you.
Come on. Don't be shy. Come on.
[ Cheers and whistles ]
All right, here it goes.
[ "When You Say Nothing At All" plays ]
♪ It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart ♪
♪ Without saying a word, you can light up the dark ♪
You ever think you're looking for something that doesn't exist?
All the time.
♪ Try as I may, I could never explain ♪
Here's to never getting married -- again.
Hey! You know what?
♪ What I hear when you don't say a thing ♪
I'm not toasting to that. Wait, you?
What? Is it so hard to believe
that I buy into the fairy tale --
that I would want a best friend and a partner
to fall in love with and grow old with?
♪ Sayin' you'll never leave me ♪
Wow. I've missed the mark with you. [ Chuckles ]
Look, I'm not holding my breath for it or anything.
How can I? With our job?
The secrets? God, no.
♪ You say it best ♪ I'm not really, uh...
Marriage material. ♪ when you say nothing at all ♪
Unless you found someone who understands all that
and accepts you...completely.
♪ All day long, I can hear... ♪
Excuse me. ♪ ...People talking out loud ♪
I've had my eye on you all night.
Oh.
Do you want to dance? ♪ but when you pull me near ♪
♪ you drown out the crowd ♪
Actually, um, my dance card's all full.
Thank you.
♪ Old Mr. Webster could never define ♪ really?
You'd pick me... Over that guy?
♪ What's being said between your heart and mine ♪
Bull's-eye.
♪ The smile on your face le♪
♪ there's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me ♪
♪ the touch of your hand ♪
♪ says you'll catch me if ever I fa-a-a-a-ll ♪
♪ you say it best ♪
♪ when you say nothing at all ♪
♪ you say it best ♪
♪ when you say nothing at all ♪
[ Song ends ]
[ Applause ]
[ Laughs ]
High fives. Yes.
[ Laughs ]
Commentator: In sports, the national hockey league featured a busy f--
[ dramatic music plays ]
Man: Welcome to the season finale of "Sewing Wars."
The battle of the stitches heats up... [ Knock on door ]
...as carlene and mavis go head-to-head.
Hey. What are you doing here?
I think I want another last kiss.
Okay.
And another.
Does this mean...
We're partners on and off the force, so stop talking.
[ Gasps ]
...sewing complicated garments
on 1961 vintage singer featherweights.
"Sewing Wars"?
Yeah.
[ Chuckles ]
Why is Dale so excited about this baseball game?
Because he's Dale.
I mean, I love baseball, but I'd rather watch it on TV.
Oh, in the air-conditioning. Oh, with a beer.
And nachos. Ohh.
Dale thinks that acting like his 10-year-old self
is supposed to cheer me up somehow.
He even took me to the batting cages.
Well, got to love that husband of yours. I know.
Speaking of husbands, yours baked a wedding cake.
I know, right?
All calm, cool, and collected.
Oh, and he sold his favorite guitar for mama's rehab bill.
That was him?
Wow. He really is trying to win you back.
Yeah. I guess you got to love that husband of mine.
Dale: Are you ready? Lacey: Yes.
Okay, wait. It's gonna get steep here.
Be careful. Geez.
Careful. You ready? We're going fast.
Yeah, I'm ready. You sure you're ready?
I'm ready! I don't think you're ready.
Take it off! I'm ready. All right.
♪ Hey, I'm calling out to... ♪ Okay, I don't get it.
I thought we were going to see a baseball game.
Did you get the date wrong?
No, he didn't, Lace.
No. We're gonna -- we're gonna play a game of our own.
[ Chuckles ]
Um, okay.
Still not getting it. [ Chuckles ]
Well, you did marry a man of mystery.
True.
That I know.
Dennis, come on, buddy!
♪ Sink or swim ♪
[ Lights whirring ] Turn around.
♪ So keep your eyes open ♪
Oh, my God. I forgot our anniversary.
Oh, my God. Oh, no. Come on.
You've been preoccupied. I'm so sorry.
Come on. I didn't do this to make you feel sorry.
Ugh, Dale, will you just get to it already?!
Get to what?
Best man? Best man?
♪ All signs point to yes ♪
Thank you, sir. You're welcome.
[ Clears throat ]
Lacey Jean Locklin...
When I originally proposed to you...
Back in the stone age? Yes.
...I-I couldn't afford the ring that you deserve.
Oh, my God.
Lacey, the man just asked you a question on a scoreboard.
What's your answer?
[ Laughs ] Yes, yes, yes. Yes?
Yes. Whoo!
Whoo-whoo!
Yeah! [ Laughs ]
Boy, I tell you -- it's hard to follow his logic,
but the man does get results. He does.
Oh, wait, wait. Let's get this.
So beautiful. Oh, my God.
We got to get this moment. [ Laughs ]
Ready? Smile.
Evan: [ Chuckles ]
"Check out my bold maneuver."
Bold maneuver?
Stop talking.
Dale: Here we go! Ready?!
Lacey: You two ain't gonna win.
Riley: Okay, Lacey Jean! Let's go!
Bring it home, Kyle! Bring it home!
We're gonna beat their butts!
Oh, here it comes. Here it comes. [ Spits ]
Ready? Let's go. I'm hungry.
Dale: [ Laughs ] Lacey: Spit ball?
Yeah!
Ooh! [ Squeals ]
Oh, get it, get it, get it, get it!
Okay, okay, okay! Hold on! Get him!
Wait! Hey! What are you doing?!
You can't...
Aaah!
[ Laughter ]
♪ Baby, baby, close your eyes ♪
I want you to come home.
♪ I want you ♪
♪ I want, want you, want you, want you ♪
[ Laughter ] They're falling.
[ Laughter ]
Dale did good.
Lacey looked so happy.
Yeah. I know the feeling.
[ Chuckles ]
You know, I didn't want to --
I didn't want to step on Dale's bold maneuver earlier.
Whenever you're ready.
Kyle...
Reporter: In local news,
a Beaumont massage parlor was raided today.
Undercover officers arrested several girls
under suspicion of prostitution.
Officials are saying this bust is a part of a larger investigation
scheduled to ramp up across the state.
== sync, corrected by elderman ==